


What's Done is Done

by bekahwhy13



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Anger, Crying, F/M, Guilt, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 23:18:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9520463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bekahwhy13/pseuds/bekahwhy13
Summary: Spin off of season 2, episode 16 from Marcus' point of view. Marcus and Abby find themselves in Mount Weather. Abby is summoned to the table but Marcus pleads for them to take him instead of her. When everyone is freed, Kane deals with issues at camp, personal and political.





	1. Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan fic. I was thinking about what it would have been like had Marcus known his feelings for Abby earlier and tried to save her by sacrificing himself in the mountain. Let me know what you think! I'm open to suggestions :)

_Darkness._

Nebulous noises brush by his ears, but mostly, there is overwhelming darkness.

His feet stumble along. His focus is on keeping his balance with every step as he’s dragged through some unknown environment.

Pain shoots through his leg as he trips over something solid lying on the ground. Quickly he is reminded of the events of Tondc. Of Abby coming to his rescue.

_Abby. Where is Abby? Is she okay?_

All his concentration of senses is centered on his hearing now, frantically searching for that familiar voice.

“Abby!” he feels her name lurch from his throat, almost as if it had originated from his stomach. He nearly didn’t recognize the desperate, aching tone that escaped his lips. Once more he calls with equal urgency, then pauses a moment, awaiting a response.

“Marcus,” a faint voice calls from directly behind him.

Marcus stops in his path. Quickly he responds, “Abby, are you okay? Have they hurt you? Where…”

Suddenly he is shoved forward a few feet until being forced to his knees. Two others are shoved down next to him. He can only hope one is her.

As he prepares himself to call to her again, he feels a hand land atop his skull. Suddenly the bag is ripped from his head and light floods his eyes. He blinks frantically trying to recover from the long period of darkness. Finally, his sight returns and immediately he checks to his right for Abby. The face is Miller’s which does bring some reprieve, but also worry.

His head swivels to the left, eyes darting to the figure next to him. A brief sigh of relief escapes him as their eyes meet. She appears relatively unharmed, but equally as unhinged as he. Neither is in a stable mental state.

As his eyes scan the rest of the room his relief is replaced with utter horror. The figure on the table squirms as a drill is inserted into a fleshy thigh, resulting in a spray of blood. The victim’s screams and pleas reach his ears and reality strikes him, much like the ocean meeting a jagged cliff. “What is wrong with you people?” he asks in a hushed tone, not quite to himself, but not really expecting an answer.

While still trying to grasp the scene in front of him, Marcus barely registers the conversation taking place to his left. Naturally, Abby has begun to inquire of Clarke’s whereabouts. Their apparent leader, the one they call “Cage”, ignores her inquiries, apologizing for what he feels must be done to protect his people, the people of Mount Weather. Without any further exchange, Cage exits the room.

The group is herded to their feet and restrained along the wall, hands cuffed over their heads. Marcus is thankful that Abby has been chained up next to him, or at least, as thankful as one can be in such a situation.

Thoughts dance around his mind. He observes possible exits, number of guards, which ones are carrying weapons, etc., but all thoughts halt as the current victim is removed from the table. No remorse is shown by the man extracting the bone marrow. All that is said is, “she’s dead.” Just an apathetic declaration of fact. This sends a cold shudder through his bones.

His eyes follow the guards as they move from the table to the wall on the other side of the doorway from him. Oxygen seems to momentarily evade him as Raven is unchained from the wall and lead to the table. It was hard enough watching one of his people die at their hands, but now they are taking someone he has come to consider a friend. Defeat courses through his veins as the first hole is drilled. All Marcus can do is watch helplessly as this poor girl is harvested like a mere, inanimate crop.

Cage marches back into the room and approaches the man extracting the marrow. “Take that one off the table,” he instructs.

The doctor protests, “Sir, we’re not done…”

“Now!” Cage interrupts. “Put her on it,” he coldly directs, while pointing a finger at Abby.

_No. Please no. This isn’t happening._ Marcus wants to protest, but cannot seem to speak. As Abby is unchained from the wall next to him, reality begins to set in. Suddenly he finds himself pleading, “No! Please, we can donate it!” Quickly he realizes that they will not listen to rationale. “Hey, we can donate it!” he pleads once more. Desperation sets in and he begins to beg, shouting, “Stop! Take me instead! Please, just leave her alone. Please, don’t do this. Take me instead! Take me instead! Take me instead.” Marcus continues to insist as they begin to drill into Abby’s thigh. He watches helplessly. His request grows quieter each time until he finds himself watching her suffer, whispering, “take me instead.”

His appeals fall on deaf ears as Cage turns his back on Marcus. Overcome by fear and rage, Marcus swings a powerful leg at Cage making contact with his lower back. Cage lurches forward into the table. He recovers his balance and hastily makes his way over to a guard, reaching for his shock baton. Once the weapon is in hand, Cage lunges in Marcus’ direction, landing a blow to the top of his head with the butt of the shock baton. Blood clouds Marcus’ vision as he feels an electric shock enter his side and course through his entire body. He gathers the strength to make another move to strike Cage, but is met with another shock causing his knees to give out, forcing all his weight on his wrists, still chained to the wall. Before he can register the intense pain of the shock, he is delivered another blow to the head.

_Darkness._


	2. Helpless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marcus slowly comes back to the current situation and deals with his inability to help.

Thoughts begin to swirl in his mind. None are complete making it all the more dizzying. Light starts to poke at his eyes as they flutter open. His head feels heavy as his neck muscles fight to hold it up. Everything is still spinning as he tries to recall his surroundings.

His thoughts are the first thing to gain some clarity. _Mount Weather_ seems to emerge from the cluster. Immediately following, _torture. Drilling. Blood._

He wishes for these thoughts to stop. Perhaps they were in a dream he had. But he cannot deny the sense of truth they hold. As his discomfort grows, so does the treachery of his thoughts.

_Friends falling victim. Screams. Helpless._

_Abby_.

“Abby!” he croaks with all the strength he can gather. It barely comes out as more than a whisper, but it is enough motivation for him to raise his head to see the defeated figure on the table. She holds his gaze, almost as if to comfort him. _How can she be so strong?_

Fire grows in his eyes, spreading to his nose. The tears drip down his face. “Abby, I’m so sorry,” he whispers, pleading for her forgiveness. _Pathetic. Helpless and pathetic._

The nausea fades. The room is now only slightly distorted and Marcus is able to get a grip on his thoughts. He swallows, choking back the tears, again, searching for a way out. His eyes move to the door next to him as Jasper is being escorted into the room by a guard.

Jasper holds an odd look on his face. There is defeat, but also determination. Marcus can’t help but wonder if the boy has some rationale for the hint of hope in his eyes.

This hope Marcus has found begins to dwindle as Jasper is chained to the wall. Just as this hope has been nearly extinguished, Jasper frees himself from the wall. Cage demands that he be restrained as Jasper draws a knife.

Before Jasper has the chance to attack, alarms start to sound from the halls. Fear washes over Cage’s face as his people become covered in sores, choking on the air around them. They fall to the ground as their insides betray them, slowly consuming their liveliness. Cage then sprints from the room.

Marcus witnesses the pain in one of the guard’s eyes as he shoots Marcus a pleading glance. But there is nothing to be done for this poor man. It is horrific. It is sad. It is safety for his people, but safety has come at a costly price.

Jasper runs from the room, ignoring the pleas of his people to be set free. Marcus barely makes out a hushed, “Maya,” escape from Jasper as he flees the room. Again, they are alone. Again, they are helpless. The threat has ceased, but the chains remain.

After a few minutes pass, Marcus’ attention is drawn to the doors as Octavia rushes in. “Octavia, get the keys from the guard” he commands. She fumbles with the keys for a few seconds until finally releasing his hands from the wall.

The second he’s released he rushes to Abby’s side. His hands shake as he frantically works at the strap around her neck. “Are you okay?” he asks while still working at the straps.

“Where’s Clarke?” she asks, always concerned for another’s safety above her own. Finally, he has her neck, hands and legs free.

He reaches to brush the hair back from her eyes, trying to comfort Abby with reassuring words, “I’m sure she’s fine. We’ll find her soon.” He grabs her hand, never letting his eyes leave hers.

Placing his free hand behind her shoulders, he helps her into a sitting position. She starts to move her leg over the edge of the table, eager to get away from the thought of pain inflicted here. Gently he helps her lift the injured leg over the side, glancing up at her with overwhelming concern when she winces.

Clarke enters and Marcus steps aside because he knows his place. He is just Abby’s friend and loyal guard. Clarke will always take priority. Watching their embrace, he feels slight envy of Clarke rise up from within him. Immediately, however, he pushes it back down where it came from. _That is not your place, Marcus_ he reminds himself.

Breaking the hug, Clarke explains, “I tried. I tried to be the good guy.”

“Maybe there are no good guys” Abby says to comfort her clearly upset daughter. Marcus feels admiration for this woman, who has just withstood torture, but can still find the exact words necessary to relieve the burden of what her daughter has just done.

Again, they embrace. After a moment, Clarke leaves her mother’s side to go be with Bellamy, who is currently with Octavia. She needs to be near someone who knows exactly what she is feeling. She needs Bellamy because they are in this together. Because they pulled the lever, together.

As soon as Clarke has moved away, Marcus is back by her side. “Put your arms around my neck” he tells her. He attempts to lift her from the table, but only makes it a few feet before having to place her on a stretcher.

She sees the disappointment he feels with himself. “Marcus, your leg isn’t healed. It’s okay. And let’s not forget, you did just get shocked and knocked unconscious trying to help me.”

Reluctantly, he stops trying to carry her letting two other men take her stretcher.

Once everyone is ready, they depart Mount Weather, but he refuses to depart from her side. He remains next to her the entire way back to Arkadia. He won’t let her get taken again.


	3. Beginnings and Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby starts to recover from Mount Weather. Marcus is faced with a decision, but instead of choosing, inadvertently makes a choice by not choosing.

Nearly a week has passed and things are finally starting to return to normal. Marcus’ limp has faded to be merely an unevenness in his step. He’s had plenty of practice concealing the slight pain he feels when he walks as his schedule has been more scattered recently with the chancellor on bedrest in medical.

His daily routine includes plenty of walking as he runs around the camp. A typical day involves training of guards, delegating conflicts (some trivial, some moderately serious), and at least three times a day, checking on Abby.

Today is the day she tries to walk and Marcus promised her he would be there. _To catch you if you fall_ was the understood, yet unspoken agreement between them.

Knowing that she will be more than eager to get out of bed, he rushes through his breakfast. When he finally finishes, he makes his way towards medical, nearly running, his head down to avoid any petty conversation.

Her eyes light up as he finally walks in. The second he reaches her bedside, Abby’s arm is around his shoulder, her legs flung over the side of the bed.

He raises his eyes to meet hers. “You ready?” he asks.

A smile and a nod are returned as she uses her free hand to push her from the bed, letting her good leg hit the ground first. Slowly, she shifts her weight from her good leg. She winces as the initial weight is somewhat of a shock.

“Are you okay? Do you want to stop?” panic fills his eyes as doubt invades his mind.

She gives an attempt at a smile and replies, “I’m fine. It’s going to hurt at first anyway.”

He nods, still skeptical, but he trusts her. And she trusts that he will catch her, so they resume.

She takes her first step, if it can even be called that, taking the weight of her injured leg quickly. The second attempt is more successful. This step carries her almost to the end of the bed. Now in the open area of medical with more room to maneuver, she becomes more liberal with her attempts. He can feel her gradually loosening her grip on his shoulders. By the time they’re done, she’s making her way around the room with an obvious limp, but on her own nonetheless.

Marcus returns to her side as the exhaustion becomes the more prevalent feature on her face. He places a hand around her waist and moves her back towards her bed. Once she is settled on the bed, he explains, “I have to go instruct at the firing range. Jackson has the crutches I made for you and should be bringing them when his shift starts. I told him not to give them to you until today because I knew you’d be trying to use them before it was time.” The last sentence is delivered jokingly, but they both know it is the truth.

“Thank you, Marcus. For everything,” she smiles while squeezing his hand. He stands there for a moment, smiling, not wanting to leave her side. But when Jackson comes in for the start of his shift he realizes he is now late for training, so he reluctantly departs. Abby’s face brightens when she sees the crutches. She would have known that Marcus made them had he told her or not because they very much resembled his character: sturdy, yet comforting.

* * *

When the training session is finally complete, Marcus decides to head back towards medical to check up on Abby. On his way, he runs into a frantic looking Clarke.

“Clarke, is everything okay?” he asks.

“Oh, Kane, hi,” she responds as if she hadn’t even registered his presence.

“Clarke, what’s going on?” he further questions.

She pauses for a moment, staring at him. It appears almost as if she’s deciding whether or not to lie. Finally, she answers, “I’m leaving.”

Looking relieved, Marcus says, “Oh, is that all. When will you be back?”

Realizing his confusion, Clarke says, “no, Kane, I’m leaving for good. I can’t be here. Every time I look into the eyes of one of our people, all I see is me massacring the people of Mount Weather. I have to get away from here. I waited to make sure my mom would be okay and now that she can walk, I need to go.”

“Clarke don’t do this. You don’t have to face this alone. We can help you get through this. All of us. Together,” he retorts, nearly begging.

“I can’t. This place haunts me,” her voice is nearly a whisper.

Matching her tone, Marcus asks, “What about your mother?”

“As much as I wish it weren’t the case, she’s the reason I pulled the lever. I can’t face her. I can’t face this. You have to be here for her now. I can’t do it. She needs you Kane. Please be strong for her.”

“Clarke…”

“Tell her I love her,” she requests before making her way to the gate.

Shock overtakes him as he watches her leave. He wants to stop her, but he understands why she needs to get away from this place. He had similar thoughts when they reached the ground due to the Culling, but chose to stay for Abby. As Clarke approaches the gate, his eyes follow her. She says goodbye to Bellamy and takes off into the woods.

He decides to let her go. Unsure if he’s making the right decision, he wanders aimlessly around camp for a while, debating his choices. After twenty minutes, he still has no stance on the matter. His sympathy lies with both sides: Abby losing her child and Clarke making a vast sacrifice for her people, but heavily bearing the guilt.

Not sure whether still in search of clarity or to simply occupy his mind to refrain from facing the decision he made by taking no action, he decides to make his way to the war room. To bury himself in his work.


	4. Of Course

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marcus is finally forced to confront Abby. With the conclusion of their conversation, he realizes he may have made the wrong call. But he remembers Clarke's last request, to be strong for her, and holds to it.

With his eyes focused on the ground, still deep in thought, he makes his way over to the piles of paperwork on the desk and sits. He doesn’t register the figure eying his every move until he’s seated and sorting through a stack of the papers.

His eyes lift to meet the small, sturdy woman sitting on the other side of the table.

“Abby,” he whispers, “what are you doing here?”

“I couldn’t bear to be stuck in medical any longer. I needed to do something, so I thought here would be a good place for that, doing something,” she responds.

Staring at her, lost deep in thought, Marcus does not even realize she was speaking. _What do I do? Should I tell her? She will be heart broken. I will be breaking her heart._ Apparently, he has been silent for longer than the appropriate amount of time, because Abby seems to have taken her focus from her own stack of papers, noticing his conflicted gaze.

“Marcus, what’s going on?” she questions.

Trying to make up for his obvious distress, he replies, “nothing, Abby. Everything’s fine.”

“Marcus, I know when you’re lying to me. Tell me what happened.”

“Please, don’t worry about it. It’s noth…”

“Tell me what’s going on, right now Marcus,” she demands in a fairly motherly tone.

He pauses for a moment, absorbing the concern in her eyes. He does not move. Just looks. Finally, when he realizes he is staring, and also that he will not win this battle, he averts his gaze to the floor. His voice comes out shaky, confused, defeated. “She left.”

“Who left Marcus? What are you talking about?”

“She’s gone, Abby. She left,” still avoiding her eyes, no more confidence in his declaration this time than the first.

“Who left?” she asks more hesitantly. She knows. But she wishes with every bone in her body that she’s wrong. “Marcus...”

All it takes for her to know is his sympathetic head tilt as his eyes finally meet hers.

“How do you know she left? Did she come to you?” she now spits her words at him.

“Abby…” he is whispering again.

“She came to you and you didn’t stop her? Marcus, how could you?” Abby now limps her way to Marcus’ side of the table. She doesn't even seem to notice the pain, overcome and blinded by rage.

Realizing that he made the wrong call in letting Clarke leave, he stands, trying to hold his ground. Finally, he answers, “Abby, I’m so sorry. I should have stopped her. I’m sorry.”

“Damn right you should have stopped her. What the hell were you thinking? I can’t believe you would do this!” the tears are now welling up in her eyes. The rage growing ever untamed. “I thought you’d changed, Kane, but you’re no different from the man on the ark.”

That last sentence bites at him like the cold would after leaving a nice warm room. When was the last time she’d called him Kane?

His thoughts are quickly interrupted as she delivers the first blow to his face, leaving a red mark where her hand landed. He does not react. He deserves this.

Again, his thoughts are interrupted as she starts to pound on his chest. He does not retaliate. He does not stop her. He lets her hit him five or six times before finally wrapping his arms around her, tight enough to keep her from hitting him. _Please be strong for her._ Clarke’s words echo in his mind.

She tries to push away from him, but he only tightens his grip around her shoulders. Her tears now dampen his shirt. She struggles for a little longer until finally giving up, caving to his embrace. She becomes putty in his arms.

Marcus rests his chin on her head as she cries. He feels her heart breaking, feels her longing for her child. He hates that he’s done this to her. All he can do his hold her. _She needs you._ Again, Clarke’s voice slips into his thoughts.

He’s not sure what Abby will need him to be. Perhaps he will become her punching bag again, much like after Jake was floated. It won’t be easy. It will hurt him, maybe break him, but he will do it for her. Whatever she needs, he will be. He will fix this. He will find Clarke and bring her back.

With that last thought he whispers, “We will find her. I will find her.”

The tears have died down after what seems like hours, but is likely only a few minutes. She pushes away from him slightly. This time he lets her go. She takes a step back to look him in the eyes, searching for truth in his words. She finds it quickly as she notices the tears that have not escaped his own eyes.

“I promise,” he whispers, recognizing her need for confirmation.

Abby nods, letting her eyes drop to the floor. The tears start to return and she moves, a bit awkwardly as the pain is no longer suppressed by rage, over to sit on the couch. She wraps a blanket around her shoulders and lets the tears flow.

Marcus stands there, watching this woman he’s come to care for so greatly, be completely torn down at his hand. He decides that it is in her best interest for him to leave, seeing as he’s caused her pain.

As he makes his way towards the door, he is startled when her voice breaks the silence. “Marcus,” he turns to face her, “please stay.”

Not quite understanding what has just been asked of him, he stares at her for a moment with a baffled expression. There is a look on her face that he is not expecting. Finally, he realizes that her face begs him to stay.

With this epiphany, he moves back towards the couch and lowers himself onto the space next to her. They sit close, their thighs and arms flush against each other. Marcus reaches his right arm around her shoulders as he pulls her close, her head resting on his chest. Again, placing his chin on the top of her head. He answers her previous request, “Of course.”

Another unspoken agreement between the two. _Of course, I’ll stay with you. Of course, I am here for you. Of course, I will be whatever you need me to. Of course, I love you._

He wasn’t entirely sure if the last part of the agreement was mutual, but he never needed it to be before, and so why would he need it to be now? Love like his for her is not based on the condition of reciprocation. Love like his for her is unconditional.

They sit on the couch like this for a while. The sun has since gone down and the camp is quieting. At some point, Abby fell asleep. Marcus wasn’t sure when, but he didn’t intend to wake her, especially not with the recent pain he’s brought into her life.

He feels himself starting to dose off, so he decides a different position will be needed if they are going to be spending the night on this couch. He gently lowers his back to the cushions on which they currently sit, pulling Abby down with him. His head finally comes to rest on a pillow wedged between the cushions and the arm of the couch. Gently, he moves first her good leg and then her injured one from the floor after removing her boots. 

Abby is laying completely on top of him with her head on his chest because there is not enough room for her to be next to him. He doesn’t mind that though because she is not very heavy and he likes to have her warmth covering him, even though he knows he doesn’t deserve it. Their legs are intertwined. His hang over the edge of the other shoulder, but hers are just short enough to fit perfectly within the walls of the couch. He moves the blanket that was around her shoulders over top of the both of them.

To Marcus’ relief, the move doesn’t seem to disturb her sleep. She stirs for a moment, but only nestles herself further into his embrace.

Marcus has only ever dreamed of a situation like this. It never really occurred to him that it may become a reality. Yes, he wishes the circumstances of the situation were different, but nonetheless, he is content to be here, holding Abby. Sleeping with Abby in his arms. His embrace. His protection. All he wants is to shield her from whatever danger lingers, and right now, right in this moment, he is able to do just that.

Unfortunately, he remembers quickly that it is his fault she needs shielding in the first place and so the guilt washes back over him. Guilt that won’t fade until he returns Clarke to her mother. Guilt that will haunt his dreams.

“I’m sorry, Abby,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry,” he repeats. At some point his apology no longer leaves his lips, but is just repeated in his mind until finally, he slips into unconsciousness. _Darkness._


End file.
